This week the best auto auction in Cincinnati is selling a 2004 Buick LeSabre. According to Wikipedia, Le Sabre is French for “the sword.” Many people believe the “pen is mightier than the sword,” but here’s five reasons why we would take this 2004 LeSabre over even the world’s most expensive pen: The Aurora Diamonte Fountain Pen
1) Price: We can’t say for sure (because it is an auto auction)but we are pretty certain this LeSabre is not going to sell for 1.3 million (the price of The Aurora Diamonte).
2) Insurance: There is no way “15 minutes is could save you 15% on pen insurance” — is pen insurance even a thing?
3) Speed: The average adult handwriting speed is 31 words per minute. In the time it would take you to write 60 words the LeSabre can tear up 2 full miles of highway.
4) Civic: The Diamonte is covered in over 30 carats of diamonds. It is a fact that diamonds do nothing to help homeless veterans or individuals with disabilities. The money you spend at the auto auction can help both those causes.
5) Social: You can hang out with up to four friends in your new LeSabre, but nobody wants to stand around and watch you write with a fancy diamond pen. In fact, you might lose friends if you spend $1.3M on a writing utensil; it is a pretty crazy move.